School is so tiring!

THE END....

Well really the comute to school is exhausting...

and I was late for my only class today...hehehe oops

Alex is making me wierd dutch food, we'll see how this goes

I few things have happened.

1. I went to Taryn's funeral with Jenna and it was a really nice service. I've been to a few funerals and this one made me feel the most comfortable and sad at the same time. I was sad about taryn's death, but what was worst was that it could happen to anyone I know and I really didn't want that to happen. I was kind of upset though because I came for Alanna and then she sat and hung around her close friends from high school. I know that is really selfish of me to feel that way, but I couldn't help it. After the funeral and I hugged Alanna I broke down briefly, I was trying so hard not to cry.

2. Just recently, Amy apologized to me again and I've never been really mean to her for no reason so now I've been trying to be nicer. Make chit chat and we worked together the whole day without a problem. I'm trying to take things at face value, but I know that Amy can be a liar. I'm not quite sure if she is truly being nice to me or if she is faking it. I don't want to be walked over again and again. I think to make the working environment better, I should put these negative thoughts aside.

3. If I didn't already tell you. I got my job back at the IGA. Lisa didn't want me to work in the bakery, but Tom came down and talked to me and he wants me in the bakery. Besides, for Fiona and Amy, I'm the most experienced and hard working part timer. I'm able to open and close by myself if I had too. Fiona even said she would rather have me working mornings then others. I still don't know everything but at least I try. Sadly, this makes me kind of cocky some days because I know I'm doing a better job. But, I'm happier now, I'm getting the morning hours I wanted ...Finally.

4. I've had problems getting my internet book order from school and hopefully know it's all worked out. I have to return some books on Wednesday. I just hope that my other order comes in before I have to give back the books I already have. I've come to the conclusion that York sucks, but not as much because the bookstore guy Nick was being really helpful and Canada post sucks:P more.

5. I met Alex's sister, Jen, her husband, Jeff and son, Calen. I think things went well, however; I didn't know much about them so it was difficult to talk to them since I was a little shy. Jeff was very nice and talkative, everyone was wrapped in the baby. He was so cute. Calen looks like Jeff but has Jen's eyes. We visited Valerie, ALex's mom's friend in the nursering home. She had a stroke and had lost the movement in her left side. She was a very funny lady especially when she said to Marie as she pushed him away, "Back off you've seen him all day, it's my turn."

6. I think things are good with Alex. I think we've both been feeling the tension of not having time off together. It was nice to spend the night with him, but I didn't sleep that well. Now it's my day off, but not his. I guess we have to cherish the time we have together. lol and at least I know I can go a few days without any special attention *wink wink*

Well well well I haven't been here in a long time. It seems Alex moving 10 mins away has proven to be positive and negative. Yes, I love spending as much time with him as possible, but at the same time I never get any done, at least house work wise. Lol I miss my tv shows. I guess it's good that we spend time outside, together doing stuff. The other day I got out my puzzle and we did most of that, it was really difficult. Still not finished yet. We went into town and Alex got me an early bday present. Harry Potter of course! Then we hung out at ALanna's till she came home and scared the crap out of her sister. I didn't think anyone was home. So we took ALanna back to Alex's and made her dinner. We had a good time eating, trying to figure out the puzzle.

Kinda stressed out about work and I've made the decision to quit...it's just waiting until it's the time to quit. I'm tired of the store and the people I work with. I really like Megan, but I can't talk to her anymore about personal stuff since she talks to others. I don't really like Fiona at the moment, I feel like she has broken a promise about time off and I'm upset about my hours. The other day I left her a note asking why I had to work six days a week when everyone else has at least two days off and that I would appreciate some time off in august. She replied in capital letters which made me feel like she was an, saying 2 people are on vacation and she would like to go on vacation too. I was like to myself and god knows Alex has heard me a million times. It's not my fault that there isn't enough people in the bakery, I might not have been happy about it, but she could have asked me and she hasn't given me any weekends off. This weekend was supposed to be my first weekend off and I'm working today. The new girl Kayla and Tawnie at times are driving me bonkers. SOmetimes they don't pick up on things and just stand around not looking for something to do. Lastly, Amy...the past week she has been asking Alex if he still has feelings for her. I told alex that I feel like that is an attack how can someone think he was available. SHe thought that Alex was still sending her signals! I guess talking to her is signals?!?! Anyways I don't hate her I just don't like her very much and if ALex wants to be her friend I'm ok with that I trust him, but I don't have to like her. The funny thing is like the day after she is asking him about the feelings and he says no, she has a date. I thought that was hilarious. I told Alex wow she got over you quickly. I think she probably had this date planned for awhile, but just had to ask before to make sure she wasn't making another mistake.
I'm a little nervous about quitting because even though I know in September that there will be more jobs open.
I can't wait to see if I can get a job at the park. I'm nervous about school. Excited about back to school shopping and taking Alex to york and see if I can get books.

So I went to IGA to check my hours and see Alex. Well the first thing Alex tells me is that since I asked for more hours at IGA during the day and I can't get them that someone had the great idea to stick me in deli....WITHOUT talking/telling/asking/ discussing this with me. I do not want to work in Deli. No convo of well are you happy with teh hours we can give u here.

I'd like to say that I'm tired of the bs, but it's not over yet.

I called Alex later on tonight he said that it gets worse. Nothing I've done per say, but apparently someone in the bakery is supposed to be spying on us to make sure we aren't doing anything inappropriate in the bakery. Can you talk about lack of trust? I don't want to point fingers at anyone, but ever since things have come up with Amy we've had nothing, but trouble. Nobody knows for sure what's going on. ALex heard that Amy is this spy or Megan. I'm worried because it's not like me and ALex are making out in front of everyone, but sometimes we do kiss goodbye and touch discretely. Jenna thinks that maybe someone is spreading rumours.

Just because of all this bs I want to quit. All I do is work hard and try to work with everyone as best as possible. And what do I get grief. My mom thinks that everyone at that store is goofy. That I have to tough it out until after my holidays since it would be dumb to start looking for a job right now, seeing as two week notice, leads into my vacation time. Tough it out...I can do this

Vacation is another thing that has been bothering me. I really want ALex to coem with me, but there is a chance that he might not. I know why he won't be able to come and it's important it's just every year I've asked someone to come they can't. I don't take this well. The cottage is important and a specail time for me and it's sometimes hard to get my parents to agree to someone coming.
Sigh...work is really upsetting me and I just need to have Alex's support and know that we are ok, stable.

Good news is I've seen a couple of jobs I've been interested in.

I was recently thinking that just for kicks me and alex should tell people at work that we broke up. Keep our relationship under wraps at work just to let things settled down. Everything was better when we weren't together. i have no intentions of breaking up with Alex, but the stress of work is getting to me. Why does it have to be difficult? It's like yes sometimes I make fun of tom and lisa working together and being in a relationship, but I don't judge them or spy on them.

Last night I went out with the girls (jenna and ALanna). It was great, we talked about everything and it was just nice to catch up. I haven't seen Alanna in a long time. and it was the usual for her mom driving her nuts, but life is good.

I don't know what to do anymore.
I don't want Lisa to be with upset with me because I asked for more hours. I was kinda hoping that I could get like a four hour shift when Allison can't make it in until 12, but instead she give me 8 or 9 hour shifts. 7 I'm used to, but that's my point of tiredness. I haven't talked to her, I left her a note. The July first weekend is going to be a mess. Gabriella is in France, Allison can't work nights, Amy booked the weekend off and is at the cottage, it's Megan's graduation and after party weekend, Lisa booked Fiona to work on teh weekend without asking her, so she is not going to come in (plus) she might have plans. I don't blame people for not coming in, but this is definately a management problem. We have a new girl Tawnie, but she hasn't been scheduled...yet and I still can't work all day.

So after a blah day of work I come home to my dad yelling at me infront of ALex. NOT AWKWARD AT ALL. I asked if i could have some rabbits and he was like no that's not a good idea your not home to look after them, u fed the cats at 10 this morning. Which I did at 11 before I went to work because nobody else feeds them. I think it's better to feed them then not at all. ANd if I feed them my dad won't be kicking the cats around for meowing for hours. And I said it's not like I'm gone for days. Then he was like why are u askinf Jake for money for gas your not driving him. I'm figuring out the gas issues said my dad. I've put like 80 dollars in the van and my dad at the time had only put in 10 dollars. Plus, he didn't have a job so it's not like I was going ot see that money anytime soon. ANyways I was really upset, since it was two stupid reasons for yelling at me. ANd then today he talks to me like nothing happened. I understand my dad is mad that he hasn't gotten his truck back yet and he is directing that upon everyone else. I figure that rabbits are just goign to be another hassle when I move out.

Other then that the night with ALex was great.he picked me up from work, made me supper. :) all was well until his landlord showed up at the house at 930 am....was not impressed after we didn't get to bed till 1 am and I woke up at 5 am. After that we cleaned up we went to the lake. ALex wanted to take me strawberry picking, but we were unsure if lily would be allowed to come and I feel so bad leaving her alone by herself. Well, we sort of left her on the beach while we swam. SHe looked so sad when we came in because she was tied up and all wet because I made her go swimming. lol it was very cool in the water but refreshing. I hate coming home.

As a surprise Alex took me to Phantom of the Opera. I wasn't that excited about going, but the show ended up being entertaining. I like how they used the whole stage, however; at times it was difficult to hear all of what was going/ understand what they were saying. I didn't think the leading lady was that great of a singer, but the phantom was great. Now I've had the theme song stuck in my head.
ALex found a new place, I'm not quite sure if he has the place for sure. Rick was supposed to call him, he only called him once to say his social insurance number had nothing come up on him, which was strange. I guess Alex will know by the end of today, hopefully he can tell me what's up.
I asked alex again if we spend too much time together and he thought no. He even said that if I wasn't still going to school he would have asked me to move in with him. After two months?
I don't know. I know I like spending timee with him, I just feel that if were always together we'll get bored of each other and have nothing to say.
Alex's mom seemed to be adjusted to her new home, ALex helped her move in a bed. He said she needs some areal rugs so I think we're going to pick some up as a house warming present. In fact if ALex moves into this new place he is going to need some rugs too. THe house is mostly hard wood floors. THe kitchen kinda sucks but everything else is great and Rick said that if debbie's place opens up he'll let alex know. Deb's place was nicer with full stove and fridge. We'll figure things out i know it.
ALex's mom gave me this little sen garden candle light tea set it's different. lol I told alex that I guess I have to get used to his family's differentness.

I was so disheartened yesterday. I came in to work and told Alex about my dream. That he took me to a baseball game and somehow he got embarrassed of me and I ran away. Every time he came after me I wanted to get away and then he became all stalker like and it was scary. He was really disturbed by this for some reason. I think the dream could have been saying that we spend too much time together, but whatever I want to spend time with him.
I don't know how long Alex has been thinking this, but he thought I wanted to break up with him. I guess since Victoria Day when I was really upset with him and was tired of waiting for him to get his act together and I told him that I didn't know if I still wanted to go out with him that day.
So I spent the night having fun and reassuring ALex that I wasn't going to break up with him.
Apparently I have this weekend off and Alex has a special plan for me, which I don't know if he actually told me or not. HE said something about Monster Trucks.
But the schomberg fair was great. We found jenna saw a few hours old goat, watched the heavy horse show, looked at the arena stuff, walked around schomberg a few times, played catch in teh IGA parking lot with jason and watched some of the tractor pull. Then we went back to ALex's. I was so happy, I would have stayed asleep, but my stupid dog woke me up. ALex said he would have taken her out. but he doesn't trust her not to run away.